From Bathroom Reader  to Dinner Table Convo

Around here there is a new magazine of choice for the ladies: Men’s Health.

Perhaps this doesn’t strike you as odd in the slightest. I don’t know. The more girls I tell this to, the more I’m becoming used to the response “I know, eh? It’s pretty great. I read my boyfriend’s copy!” (Yup, we Canadians really do say “eh.” A lot. No matter.)

I’ve heard that men read Cosmo for the sex tips, relationship advice, and general insight into the sex that they seem incapable of understanding. In fact there are often sections in Cosmo designed specifically for the male readers. Though, I suspect these boy-targeted sections (“What Women Want from You!”) are less popular than “101 NEW ways to please your man!” I’m sorry, but how many times can you run that headline, Cosmo? Someone is paid big bucks to sit back laughing over a bottle many bottles of wine, slurring as they try to come up with inventive sex positions that even the Kama Sutra would deem ridiculous: “I got it! The armadillo! No one’s thought of that before!”

Oops. Tangent. Where was I?…oh yes, sorry. Men’s Health.

Boy Roomie has a typical collection of bathroom reading material, but mostly Men’s Health. If it wasn’t for the mags being tossed, still opened onto the edge of the tub, across from the toilet, I probably wouldn’t have ever picked one up. But open? Who could help but take a glance?

The various tidbits I pick up regularly find their way into dinner conversations, and the three of us roomies savour our newly acquired bathroom-knowledge and divulge and debate with excitement. (hmm…”bathroom-knowledge” probably isn’t the right way of putting it. Could result in some interesting Google searches.)

Did you know that:  

cabbage crops fertilized with pee produce bigger cabbages (urine…pee isn’t an acronym for some fancy chemical. Just a biological one. But pee isn’t really a chemical at all, so…)? 

I didn’t, but Finland did. And now, thanks to Men’s Health, I do too. Valuable knowledge, no doubt. Apparently it tastes the same. The Cabbage, that is. 

Drinking four cups of coffee a day decreases men’s chances of getting Parkinson’s by 50%? 

I’m hoping that my own coffee consumption will aid me in raising awareness. I foresee no drawbacks to this logic. 

Mixing antidepressants (also used for premature ejaculation. Who knew?) with Tylenol might cause internal bleeding. 

Oh, a little internal bleeding. That’s ok, at least I don’t have a headache. WHAT WHAT WHAT? Does this strike anyone else as sort of A BIG DEAL?

Anyway, I’m sure you get the point. But today I read something that I had a hard time going “Ah, thanks Men’s Health for your god-like knowledge on the Facts Of Life” to:

“Striking out at the bar? Join a running club”

um, seems obvious, but you have me…why? 

“Women with athletic builds are less superficial than those with curvaceous figures…the broader a woman’s hips were relative to her waist, the more importance she placed on a man’s looks. Curvier women have more estrogen and a greater maternal urge to find a partner who looks like he’ll produce strong babies and provide for a family.” 

Ok, my problems with this little Men’s health snippet are manifold,

1.  Women with athletic builds are less superficial? I don’t know about that…they are the ones at the gym, dragging their asses off the couch and onto a treadmill to be one of the fit people.  But, Ok, for arguments sake, we’ll go with that as fact.

2.  Are they saying that men like the girls with the big hips, not the athletic girls? There is a picture of an athletic girl removing (already) sheer lingerie accompanying the article, presumably to grab the male reader’s attention. So, I’m a bit confused, but again, I’ll bite…Bigger hips than waist? That’s me!

3.  “greater maternal urge”? “strong babies”? I don’t know, but I have a hard time believing that most men who read Men’s Health are really looking to find a woman with these particular urges…and at the bar, no less.

I get a very caveman and cavewoman impression of this whole thing. “Caveman want big-hip lady, make strong babies”. I know it’s a whole “human nature” thing to want to produce as many little beasts as possible, but is that superficiality? I’m not so sure.

Sorry…bit of a rambling post this one was. I’m not even sure I made a point. More focused next time.

edit: science-y Girl Roomie just informed me that pee is, in fact, a chemical. Urea. I think I knew that..oops.